The Desires of My Heart

What do I desire?  This question reminds me of when I was young and I would watch the Miss USA pageants.  Inevitably in the interview section, one or more of the young women would answer that they wanted world peace.  It got to be a bit of a joke.  Pollyanna innocence that only desired world peace.  That mindset was so contrary to my own thinking that it was funny.  I was the kid who would take the sears and roebuck catalogue and circle everything I wanted for Christmas.  The true desires of my heart right there in pen and ink on glossy colored pages, all for sale at the right price.  World peace?  Who does she think she’s fooling?

Lately, God has been revealing my true nature to me again.  My lack of humility.  My lack of self-denial.  My true heart.  My deepest desires.  And it isn’t pretty.  It surely isn’t something I want paraded around on national television in a contest to see who is the best. (I have never understood those pageants.)  It is rather shameful.  But He is still working on me.  Praise God in heaven, He isn’t done with me yet.

My desires all seem to spin around me; focus on me and my comfort and happiness.   Here’s a grand example.  If I have an “extra” (not really sure what that is but we in America surely have it) $2,000, what would be my priorities with that money?  To replace my deteriorating vehicle?  To pay off some debt?  To take a nice vacation?  Or just go shopping!  FUN MONEY!

You see, God has blessed me, and still I am focused on more for me.  Our family certainly gives to charity.  We aren’t completely self-centered.  But in the end, I still struggle with the desires of my heart.   I know that we must be good stewards and provide for our own needs.  The problem is that what we consider “needs” and what God considers “needs” are worlds apart.

But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you. (Luke 12:28-31 ESV)

I have shelter.  I have clothes.  I have food to eat and water to drink.  God has provided for me.  And still the desires of my heart want to run after worldly things.  Each day I must choose to seek His Kingdom.

Lord change the desires of my heart.  I don’t want to voice in front of others a desire that isn’t really there.  In the depths of my soul, I want to want what You want.  Help me to lay aside this world, even when that makes me look weird to others.  Help me to see Your children who are suffering and in need.  Help me to be generous to others even if it costs me some comfort.  Let the desires of my heart be righteous and holy before you Lord.  Forgive me when I fall short and put the things of the world before the things of the Kingdom.  Amen.

Be honest with yourself.  What have you been longing for?  What are the real desires of your heart?  May God help us to long for Him and His kingdom.

Seek Him first.  Be encouraged.  He isn’t done with us yet.  Press on.

He Will Not Forsake His Saints Of David.

 Fret not yourself because of evildoers; be not envious of wrongdoers! For they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb. Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! (Psalm 37:1-7 ESV)

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