I haven’t always been trustworthy with my husband. I’m ashamed to admit that, in the past, I had been known to keep things from him – specifically, purchases. It amazes me how I justified my actions. “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” I could tell you why I did what I did, but it doesn’t matter. It was sinful, and I knew it. The only reason we need justification is to convince ourselves that this sin will be ok.
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33
I found that my marriage is worth more than that. He is really able to handle the truth and so am I. In the end, we are better for it. It wasn’t easy and it took a long time to get there, but we no longer have those problems because we dealt with them head on rather than skirting around them in sin.
And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord. Hosea 2:19-20
Our spouse is the closest relationship that we have on this earth (or at least it should be). Protect that relationship. Nurture it. Challenge yourself to do better. God will honor your efforts. He is pleased when we embrace and treasure our marriages as a gift from Him. Marriage takes commitment from both of you. It requires love and demands forgiveness. It requires good communication, understanding, listening, compassion, forbearance, strength, truth, support, teamwork, repentance, God. Stop all the negativity and criticism in your thought life. Focus on the good qualities. Speak words that build up rather than tear down.
I learned several years back that regardless of how my husband responds to me, I must stay right before God – stay right in relationship to Him, obeying His will. It is difficult to not take the bait or to sink to that level of sin. I used to fear my husband’s reaction (he was never violent), and that fear led me to sin. I had to learn that I was strong enough to speak the truth with love and to stand up in righteousness. My behavior is what God would hold me accountable for. My words would be what I regretted if I did not stay right with God.
It is funny how even when I did my best justification, I always felt convicted by God’s Holy Spirit. One of the benefits of walking with God rather than against Him, is the lack of guilt and conviction. It is freeing. Truth is freeing. Now there are no more “secrets” on my part in our marriage. What he should, and needs to know about, I tell him, and over the years his responses have become much easier for me to deal with. He has grown in the Lord and so have I. Choosing a Christian man for my spouse has made ALL the difference. God has taken center stage in our marriage. We have both allowed Him to change our hearts and heal our marriage.
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God… 2 Corinthians 6:14-16
I’ve been married long enough to know that we never know what is coming ahead of us, but we’ve learned our lessons from our past mistakes and are walking with God today. That is good enough for me. God has proven Himself faithful over and over again in our lives and we trust Him with what is ahead.
Thank You Lord Jesus for your example. Help me to follow after You today. Amen.
Love your spouse well. Be encouraged. Press on.