Waiting on the Lord’s guidance can be an unbearable ordeal at times. One minute I think I know the direction I should go and the next I’m just as uncertain.
My problem is that I get in my own way. Following God’s lead often requires that I must put down my own wishes, dreams, desires, and plans. That isn’t as easily done as one would lead you to believe. Easy to say, hard to do.
To top it off, God often seems to lead me in directions that seem unreasonable; “Really God, that way? Are you sure, because this way looks so much easier and brighter, and I think it will be more fun!?” And He leads me in directions that are difficult if not impossible to explain to the others around me, who will be affected by my path. I mean seriously, how did Abram explain himself? Did he not have people around him asking all the “Why?”s? I know Issac asked him about the ram to be sacrificed, and yes, I know that Abram’s response was “God will provide.”, but at times I feel more like Issac than Abram. I have more questions than answers. And I know that God wants me to willingly climb up on the sacrificial altar.
I guess I have more fears and a HUGE lack of faith at the crossroads. I don’t even want to be at the crossroads, but this is where God has me. Before He brought me here I thought I had great faith, now I see how small my faith really is. Will I obey? Will my delay cost me opportunities and blessings? Then pours in the doubt; How do I know it is really God and not just my own faulty thinking? My biggest fear is that I won’t obey, that I’ll choose what my selfish heart desires.
I guess this is the crux of all sin isn’t it. It’s a battle between what I want vs. what God wants; between my old sin nature and my new Holy Spirit filled nature. It is a testing of my faith. Lord help me to be faith-full. Amen.
Photo taken by Jim Earl. Thanks Jim for the great example of how to choose the right path and bring glory to God.